My Creative Writing!

[DGN]

As I believe some of you may know, I have an interest in creative writing; expressing your feelings through words of pure content-or contempt-ment, releasing all your thoughts into a story.

I do it every so often. Just today, bored because I already did all my homework, and they gave me a chance to do my homework, I decided to make this:


I looked out into the city. Every car was destroyed. Several buildings had collapsed, and some had been completely obliterated. If a person didn’t know any better, they’d think that it had been subject to a nuclear explosion. However, they were completely unaware that this was just the mark of White Blood. The most disastrous humanoid in the world. How he turned out as such a powerful dictator, such a super powerful creature is far beyond my comprehension.

I looked at the sky behind me. Dusk was impeding, and White Blood would soon shed his mark…yet again. I turned on my jet shoes, and blasted off toward the little crevice within the valley. Shooting downwards, I unsheathed my electroness sword and broke my fall with a strike to the ground. Not a scratch and sound as always. I walked into my little cavern, and looked at the map. It appeared that, already, his large spaceship was flying over the city. Any remaining human would’ve been blasted and destroyed by his powerful particles, dying a slow and painful death.

…however…

Usually, I would care about the people in this city. But after they betrayed me, presented my back to White Blood’s deathly hand, they had it coming to them. There was no regret on their case…and now there was no regret on mine. Did I feel any pain toward them? No. After the horrible, horrible apocalypse, I was the only one remaining…El Maiz, Waterwave Julian, Metal Mark…and my son from the future….Zight…all destroyed. There was no future for me. I had no reason to continue living. But yet…

There was an unusual force that somehow kept me alive. It gave me a will to continue on, despite the hatred I posed towards the humans, and the horrid they posed to me. The bond I had with White Blood was too strong…I would only be destroyed as long as he kept on living. What help did they need? What help did they contribute to the society? Heck, back in B.C., economy, the government, and so many civilized things were inexistent! The role of life was to hunt or be hunted and to spread your genes. That was it. Now, the major thing in life is wars, and, to my horrid disgust, the obsession over “dis”course.

The only thing I fear is that one day, a hero will shine. A hero who will take down White Blood. He will free me from this horrible curse, this chain of being tied to that man-thing. If he is destroyed, and I am still alive, however…yeah, as if that would happen. Fate is set for me to die with that man, my nemesis….

For now, though, I’ll just have to lie down and wait for the future to happen.

[Slissith]

Very nice!
A post-apocalyptic story, starring Electro Adam!

Obviously, there's some backstory we do not know of and in overall it was a sad and slighty tense too, story.

It was really good. The narration was beautiful and the content was as I mentioned, sad and tense. Very good.

[DGN]

Thank you so much!
Yes, sometimes I choose to develop a story with no background at all, leaving the reader in confusion.
But really, thank you a lot!

[member 777]

will this affect my story by anyway

[DGN]

Not at all.
Thi's probably be after the Electro Adam adventures which has no straight plot except Adam fighting White Blood, and I'm kind of loose on ideas.

[member 777]

oh ok

hey if we do 100- man melee does that unlock falco for me

[phantomhp]

slightly random but yes.

This is very very good, especially for your age. keep writing and you'll only get better and better!!

[member 777]

hopefully my writing gets put in the tea room all so

[diego222]

Very nice writing generic. As phantomhp said, it is excellent for your age. I liked especially the variety of words you used in the story.

[Werekill]

Eh. It was ok, but a lot of sentences were weirdly broken up and had several basic grammatical errors.

Just keep writing, and you'll improve with time.

[corey95]

Here's one I got (based on my super hero character, Ultimate Hero!)

When I saw what was coming, I ran for my life, because the storm was getting close, someone created it...... and they couldn't control it..... we were all doomed now.....
I saw a car flying past...... crashing into others and breaking stuff..... I couldn't do anything about it now..... it was too late to stop the storm now..... I saw another storm coming...... coming this way...... wrecking havoc as both storms closed in....
And sat straight up, I was still in bed. Phew.

[DGN]

Seems more like a poem than a story.
It should be something like (but can be much improved, the order was a bit off):

When I saw
the terrible impeding storm,
created by: unknown
I for my life,
The uncontrollable disaster;
We were certain to be sent to our death.

There were cars,
flying about like a tornado,
Destroying everything in their path
And I felt useless to (for lack of a better word) society.
The storm was now unstoppable,
And another one was sure to be arriving.
It was just about to obliterate the world, when suddenly...
I woke up.


Werekill, can you point out a sentence in the story where I had a grammatical error?
But thank you for your constructive critisism.

[corey95]

Hmm, not bad. But I'd use the story in my OWN words.
Here -
When I saw the terrible storm of doom,
created by someone unknown,
I for my life,
The uncontrollable disaster;
We were sure to be sent to our death.

There were cars,
flying about like a tornado,
Destroying everything in their path
And I felt useless, unable to escape.
The storm was now unstoppable,
And another one was sure to be arriving.
It was just about to destroy the world, when suddenly...
I woke up.

How's that? I sorta edited the story, and put some of the words into my own.

Here's another - The next night when the person goes to sleep he has a dream instead, half nightmare, half dream -
I was running towards a tornado, ready to freeze it, ready to save the world. I knew I could, somehow I could not control the storm, but I could destroy it.
I ran and jumped on top of cars, one by one, getting closer and closer to the nightmare; I started to feel scared. but no, I still kept on going, still kept on pushing. And finally I got to the middle of the storm, freezing everything in my way, now it felt cold.
I saw a snow bizzard coming towards me, coming towards me to freeze me.
I woke up, realising that there WAS a storm, that already ripped off the roof, now it was raining, the storm was getting worse, my brother came, but was electrocuted, I screamed, ran around the house, trying to find my parents, but they were gone.
Suddenly I woke up again, now realising that there was no storm, I had gone camping, I'd forgotten, suddenly everything made sense, it was cold, my tent was soaked, and my parents and brother were there, cooking breakfast.

What do you think? That's the next part for the story, when the guy wakes up, finding himself in 2 nightmares.
(And make sure you read this and answer!)

[El Maiz]

Nice story Generic.
All of these seem to involve me dieing.

[DGN]

Ha, thanks.
Its supposed to be in the future of Electro Adam, when doom is wrought upon the world, and there's nary a single powerful hero in existence.

Corey: Meh. Its more broken up, the grammar isn't too powerful, etc.
Also, you can't just randomly type up random stuff.
It has to string together, spiced up with great vocabulary, mixed into itself, and, giving it a tone that, for lack of a better word, excrutiates a powerful story.

Also, please, stop posting those in this thread. This is MY thread. Make one for yourself if you wish.