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Post by DGN on Jan 31, 2011 18:12:09 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can have a staring contest with a mirror...and win.
Everyone says they dropped in Atomic Bomb on Japan during World War II. That was really Chuck Norris.
When Chuck's mother was pregnant, she had a craving for nails.
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Post by El Maiz on Jan 31, 2011 18:14:09 GMT -5
Chuck Norris beat Medusa in a staring contest.
Jesus walks on water. Chuck Norris swims through land.
Chuck Norris can throw an iron beam 300 feet in the air and catch it in his teeth.
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Post by DGN on Jan 31, 2011 18:15:16 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Post by El Maiz on Jan 31, 2011 18:16:26 GMT -5
Chuck norris can divide zero. By zero.
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Post by DGN on Jan 31, 2011 18:18:27 GMT -5
God originally planned on having two days of rest, but Chuck Norris told him not to be selfish.
...Or something like that.
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Post by El Maiz on Jan 31, 2011 18:18:30 GMT -5
God didn't send the flood that made Noah build the ark.
Chuck Norris threw up.
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Post by DGN on Jan 31, 2011 18:20:39 GMT -5
The Big Bang Theory was just Chuck Norris' first round house kick.
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Post by El Maiz on Jan 31, 2011 18:22:24 GMT -5
There was a misspelling in SFA3.
They put "Dan" instead of Chuck Norris.
I'm just making these up on the spot.
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Post by DGN on Jan 31, 2011 19:35:08 GMT -5
I'm making up some of them.
What happens in Vegas only stays in Vegas if it involves chuck norris.
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Post by PartisanDaw on Feb 1, 2011 7:47:04 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can swim on Land.l
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Post by El Maiz on Feb 1, 2011 8:27:04 GMT -5
Someone made an inside joke about Chuck Norris. He made sure that it stayed inside.
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Post by DGN on Feb 1, 2011 17:22:45 GMT -5
The world won't end in 2012. The world ends when Chuck Norris wants it to.
Chuck Norris is not immortal, he just chooses not to die.
Chuck Norris is the only man that can stab you with a basketball.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Post by Dettadeus on Feb 1, 2011 17:26:27 GMT -5
No, the joke is that the grim reaper doesn't have the guts to tell him.
In Soviet Russia, you roundhouse kick Chuck Norris, but then he roundhouse kicks you back in time to before Soviet Russia existed.
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Post by StayPuft on Feb 1, 2011 18:07:08 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's head on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't strong enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When Chuck Norris gives you the peace sign, he is actually informing you how many seconds you have to live.
A venomous snake once bit Chuck Norris. After three days of intense suffering, the snake died.
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Post by redcd on Feb 2, 2011 4:32:54 GMT -5
chuck Norris can do epic anime falcon punch and still be alive
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Post by DGN on Feb 2, 2011 7:13:44 GMT -5
Chuck has no need for video games.
THE WORLD is his video game.
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Post by StayPuft on Feb 2, 2011 7:49:10 GMT -5
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
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Post by DGN on Feb 2, 2011 16:41:11 GMT -5
WRONG.
It's called Chuck's day to reign, and it DOES exist, because every prank he makes is a roundhouse kick of his enjoyment.
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Post by StayPuft on Feb 2, 2011 19:08:58 GMT -5
Pics or it didn't happen.
Once, a whole country disagreed with Chuck Norris. Today, we call this country the moon.
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Post by DGN on Feb 2, 2011 19:20:02 GMT -5
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